Being in Saskatchewan is lovely. I have been distanced enough to be able to appreciate it but I don't feel the same ache I usually do. It's gone. I don't feel the longing or the attachment anymore. I just feel, well, lovely when I look into the fields of long wheat and canola. When I feel the wind whipping my hair around. It is lovely.
There are people and places in my life that will always leave a lovely ache. Memory is a powerful thing and should not be underestimated. This weekend was a time of memories, of remembering. Remembering a marriage and the life of two people and to watch how God has blessed them.
And He has.
He really has.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
My mind is still reeling from the experience I had this weekend.
I met with God. He showed me his goodness. He is good. Why is that a lesson I keep having to learn over and over again?
Too many times we look for justification as an outcome of a tragic event or happening. We think that God now has to justify what He has done. Or maybe what we have done.
But that is not his purpose. He doesn't want to justify anything. He wants to redeem. He wants to redeem our situations, our mistakes, our choices.
He has nothing but love for me and wants nothing but joy for me.
What most spoke to me this weekend is the fact and truth that love is sacrifice. If ever you love someone, you WILL sacrifice. In any relationship. There is the saying that Jesus was the ultimate sacrifice. The ultimate act of love in other words. Those two go hand in hand and I keep finding that as soon as I am willing, key word: willing, to sacrifice the walls come down and God is let in and it is no longer me but Christ through me.
Our director for the show I am in this fall said in the middle of the summer that the closer we grow to God, the better our show will be (we are writing it). I firmly believe this and especially in my singleness I am able to begin, if only even a little bit, a God who loves me without limitations, without boundaries, and without restriction.
Song of the Day:
Prescilla by Bat for Lashes
I met with God. He showed me his goodness. He is good. Why is that a lesson I keep having to learn over and over again?
Too many times we look for justification as an outcome of a tragic event or happening. We think that God now has to justify what He has done. Or maybe what we have done.
But that is not his purpose. He doesn't want to justify anything. He wants to redeem. He wants to redeem our situations, our mistakes, our choices.
He has nothing but love for me and wants nothing but joy for me.
What most spoke to me this weekend is the fact and truth that love is sacrifice. If ever you love someone, you WILL sacrifice. In any relationship. There is the saying that Jesus was the ultimate sacrifice. The ultimate act of love in other words. Those two go hand in hand and I keep finding that as soon as I am willing, key word: willing, to sacrifice the walls come down and God is let in and it is no longer me but Christ through me.
Our director for the show I am in this fall said in the middle of the summer that the closer we grow to God, the better our show will be (we are writing it). I firmly believe this and especially in my singleness I am able to begin, if only even a little bit, a God who loves me without limitations, without boundaries, and without restriction.
Song of the Day:
Prescilla by Bat for Lashes
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Saskatchewan
You may be asking yourself where I have been for the last week. Well wonder no longer. I went to Saskatchewan for my grandparent's 50th anniversary and my cousin's wedding all in the same weekend. So my sincerest apologies for not posting.
I would have to say that this last weekend was the highlight of my summer. It was the one time where I could take off my adult face and just be a kid again. I climbed, swam, ran, played, hugged, and frolicked to my heart's content. And now my heart is full. All of my extended family stayed in this huge beautiful lodge at a retreat centre for the weekend. There were zip lines, climbing walls, tubing down rivers, mud pits, beach volleyball, and thunder storms. There's nothing like a prairie thunderstorm. I have missed seeing the entire sky light up and hearing thunder that leaves your ears ringing.
To those of you who have prayed for my family, thank you. God is bringing healing to my family (extended especially) and I got to see that this weekend. I am learning to love where I have come from and my heritage. I am proud to be Mennonite. Proud to have a German backround. And I am proud of every single one of my family members.
It was a life changing weekend for me.
Song of the Day:
Something Beautiful by Newsboys
I would have to say that this last weekend was the highlight of my summer. It was the one time where I could take off my adult face and just be a kid again. I climbed, swam, ran, played, hugged, and frolicked to my heart's content. And now my heart is full. All of my extended family stayed in this huge beautiful lodge at a retreat centre for the weekend. There were zip lines, climbing walls, tubing down rivers, mud pits, beach volleyball, and thunder storms. There's nothing like a prairie thunderstorm. I have missed seeing the entire sky light up and hearing thunder that leaves your ears ringing.
To those of you who have prayed for my family, thank you. God is bringing healing to my family (extended especially) and I got to see that this weekend. I am learning to love where I have come from and my heritage. I am proud to be Mennonite. Proud to have a German backround. And I am proud of every single one of my family members.
It was a life changing weekend for me.
Song of the Day:
Something Beautiful by Newsboys
Thursday, July 24, 2008
You know you go to the movie store too much when...
the Rogers lady knows who you are and suggests movies to you.
No one is complaining though.
Latest movie you should rent.
Good Will Hunting.
A. Mazing.
Not really a change your life kind of movie. More like a let's watch this movie and admire the good acting.
There's a little saying that's thrown around in our acting classes, we hear it every day of our lives, and it is "maximum emotional involvement". Matt Damon, in this movie, achieved that. Every single scene he is in, I can clearly see exactly what he is fighting for, when he changes tactics to find it, and how hard he is fighting for his objective or objectives. A very talented actor that one.
I love seeing actors branch out and try completely different roles than what they usually do. In this movie, that actor is Robin Williams. He steps out of his comfort of comedy and into a very serious role. And impressively pulling it off fantastically. His character has a lot of emotional past to deal with and to allow the audience to see the burden it causes him is difficult. Robin Williams is brilliant in this role.
Song of the Day:
Remember Me by Steve Bell
No one is complaining though.
Latest movie you should rent.
Good Will Hunting.
A. Mazing.
Not really a change your life kind of movie. More like a let's watch this movie and admire the good acting.
There's a little saying that's thrown around in our acting classes, we hear it every day of our lives, and it is "maximum emotional involvement". Matt Damon, in this movie, achieved that. Every single scene he is in, I can clearly see exactly what he is fighting for, when he changes tactics to find it, and how hard he is fighting for his objective or objectives. A very talented actor that one.
I love seeing actors branch out and try completely different roles than what they usually do. In this movie, that actor is Robin Williams. He steps out of his comfort of comedy and into a very serious role. And impressively pulling it off fantastically. His character has a lot of emotional past to deal with and to allow the audience to see the burden it causes him is difficult. Robin Williams is brilliant in this role.
Song of the Day:
Remember Me by Steve Bell
Sunday, July 20, 2008
My grace is all you need
I went to Yakima Valley last week to visit my friend Mel.
You should meet her, she's great.
She lives in a beautiful city surrounded by desert and filled with orchards. Everywhere. It's beautiful and just what I needed. We spent the perfect day together.
I watched The Dark Knight on Saturday night. For those of you who aren't aware, it's the new Batman movie with Christian Bale and Heath Ledger. Oh. My. Goodness.
I have not seen such a piece of art in a long time. Especially in a movie.
I didn't think the script was anything incredible, they could have worked on that a bit. But the acting and storyline were both amazing.
As I was watching the movie my mind, as well as several others most likely, was wandering to the fact that Heath Ledger is now dead. There is much speculation as to why he died and if it was accidental or not. Of course I do not know for sure one way or another but here is what I came up with in my head, a thought you might want to ponder.
After watching the movie, this is key to understanding where i'm coming from, I think that Heath Ledger gave himself so completely to the role, body and more importantly mind, that he made the decision that this was it. He had created a masterpiece and in order to do that he sacrificed himself for the role. I do not think his death was an accident. I think he purposefully ended it at the top of his game. And when you look back over the span of his career, it really was the top. But again, this can only be speculation because I will never know. Just a thought.
Incredible movie that I would most definitely recommend.
"So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud. Three different times I begged him to take it away. Each time he said, 'My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness'".
2 Cor. 12: 7-9
"My grace is all you need".
That is all I need.
Redemption has been a little theme for me. What does it mean for me to be redeemed? By God? By others? I believe that God is going to redeem my summer. Nothing I have done or will do is for naught. In my weakness He is being made strong and quite frankly, I would rather have Him being strong than me. Because without him, I am a different person entirely. I am so changed by Christ. So moved by his love. I was reading 1 Corinthians 13 this morning. The "love" chapter. The first line I read goes like this, "Love is patient...". Nuff said.
God will redeem me AND my summer.
Song of the Day:
Saving Petals by Brendan Kwiatkowski
You should meet her, she's great.
She lives in a beautiful city surrounded by desert and filled with orchards. Everywhere. It's beautiful and just what I needed. We spent the perfect day together.
I watched The Dark Knight on Saturday night. For those of you who aren't aware, it's the new Batman movie with Christian Bale and Heath Ledger. Oh. My. Goodness.
I have not seen such a piece of art in a long time. Especially in a movie.
I didn't think the script was anything incredible, they could have worked on that a bit. But the acting and storyline were both amazing.
As I was watching the movie my mind, as well as several others most likely, was wandering to the fact that Heath Ledger is now dead. There is much speculation as to why he died and if it was accidental or not. Of course I do not know for sure one way or another but here is what I came up with in my head, a thought you might want to ponder.
After watching the movie, this is key to understanding where i'm coming from, I think that Heath Ledger gave himself so completely to the role, body and more importantly mind, that he made the decision that this was it. He had created a masterpiece and in order to do that he sacrificed himself for the role. I do not think his death was an accident. I think he purposefully ended it at the top of his game. And when you look back over the span of his career, it really was the top. But again, this can only be speculation because I will never know. Just a thought.
Incredible movie that I would most definitely recommend.
"So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud. Three different times I begged him to take it away. Each time he said, 'My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness'".
2 Cor. 12: 7-9
"My grace is all you need".
That is all I need.
Redemption has been a little theme for me. What does it mean for me to be redeemed? By God? By others? I believe that God is going to redeem my summer. Nothing I have done or will do is for naught. In my weakness He is being made strong and quite frankly, I would rather have Him being strong than me. Because without him, I am a different person entirely. I am so changed by Christ. So moved by his love. I was reading 1 Corinthians 13 this morning. The "love" chapter. The first line I read goes like this, "Love is patient...". Nuff said.
God will redeem me AND my summer.
Song of the Day:
Saving Petals by Brendan Kwiatkowski
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Try on your knees
When voices fade out
When lights are turned down
Know this whispers to you
When you want to cry out
When you want a runway
Taking you in another way
When you cannot suffer any longer
Know that I suffer too
When life has you jaded,
Tired and frustrated just know
This whispers to you
After a fall out
When your thoughts are all doubts
Remember what I promised you
When you are broken
And words that were spoken
Are regrets in you mind
When you fail to see beauty
Try on your knees
Or when you're content, safely hidden
Know this whispers to you
- Brendan Kwiatkowski
I've been learning a lot about patience. Something I haven't usually made a habit of putting into practise. I'm slowly learning that all other fruits of the Spirit stem from self-control. I am finding myself having a selfless love despite being hurt. That is not me. That is not in my nature at all. And it's hard. It doesn't feel good. It definitely doesn't make me feel warm and fuzzy. But it is God's desire. It is therefore my desire.
I'm also exploring God as a husband. It discusses the idea a little bit in Isaiah and I like it. I like this idea that the qualities I look for in a husband are also in Christ. At least should be. And the idea that marriage is this binding contract where two become one. I want to live such a life where Christ and I are one. That should be what we strive for yes?
My abandonment issues are such that I find a huge peace in knowing that I am already married to someone who will never leave me and always always loves me no matter what condition I'm in. Every person deserves to be loved in this way.
I'm going to Seattle for the next couple of days to visit some school friends. Hopefully it will bring some peace in my seemingly forever stormy life.
Song of the Day:
Do You Realize by The Flaming Lips
When lights are turned down
Know this whispers to you
When you want to cry out
When you want a runway
Taking you in another way
When you cannot suffer any longer
Know that I suffer too
When life has you jaded,
Tired and frustrated just know
This whispers to you
After a fall out
When your thoughts are all doubts
Remember what I promised you
When you are broken
And words that were spoken
Are regrets in you mind
When you fail to see beauty
Try on your knees
Or when you're content, safely hidden
Know this whispers to you
- Brendan Kwiatkowski
I've been learning a lot about patience. Something I haven't usually made a habit of putting into practise. I'm slowly learning that all other fruits of the Spirit stem from self-control. I am finding myself having a selfless love despite being hurt. That is not me. That is not in my nature at all. And it's hard. It doesn't feel good. It definitely doesn't make me feel warm and fuzzy. But it is God's desire. It is therefore my desire.
I'm also exploring God as a husband. It discusses the idea a little bit in Isaiah and I like it. I like this idea that the qualities I look for in a husband are also in Christ. At least should be. And the idea that marriage is this binding contract where two become one. I want to live such a life where Christ and I are one. That should be what we strive for yes?
My abandonment issues are such that I find a huge peace in knowing that I am already married to someone who will never leave me and always always loves me no matter what condition I'm in. Every person deserves to be loved in this way.
I'm going to Seattle for the next couple of days to visit some school friends. Hopefully it will bring some peace in my seemingly forever stormy life.
Song of the Day:
Do You Realize by The Flaming Lips
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Movietime
I watched Dedication tonight. Solid effort i'd say.
EVEN though it has Mandy Moore in it
and EVEN though its about falling in love
It's still pretty good.
Things I liked about it were the cinematography (I liked the style) and the soundtrack. For those two things alone I would watch the movie again.
Billy Crudup, besides having a great last name, has some definite skills in the area of acting, as shown in this film.
I would recommend.
Song of the Day
The Great Salt Lake by Band of Horses
EVEN though it has Mandy Moore in it
and EVEN though its about falling in love
It's still pretty good.
Things I liked about it were the cinematography (I liked the style) and the soundtrack. For those two things alone I would watch the movie again.
Billy Crudup, besides having a great last name, has some definite skills in the area of acting, as shown in this film.
I would recommend.
Song of the Day
The Great Salt Lake by Band of Horses
EXcellent
You know those times.
When you're dressed in your favourite clothes.
They fit you just right.
You've actually taken time to do your hair for once.
You're make up is done just right. Not too crazy but not too natural either.
You are wearing your favourite shoes.
The ones that you've worn so much you feel like you are going barefoot.
Lets not lie, you think your looking pretty gooood.
And you think,
"Now this is the moment where I should run into my ex"
But it never happens that way does it.
You see them when you're driving home
after working 8 hours
sweaty and gross
looking like shit.
Yes, that's when you see them.
...who takes time to do their hair anyway these days.
I started watching The Power of Myth today. Campbell talks about the center belief that ties every myth together. And that is the idea of a hero or heroine. A hero goes through some sort of change or higher understand and then gives of themselves for a greater cause. He claims that every human being can be considered a hero because everyone has gone through a birth. A time where they are in one state, they go through a change (take a passage) and become something different, something stronger, something better. That's as far as I got. Although I was thinking about it later in the day and I realized that I'm a huge believer in the everyday hero. Man, I have met some amazing people suffering for the sake of so many others. Makes my problems seem small and trivial.
I talked to a friend tonight who spoke brutally honest words to me. I don't think he will ever know how right he was. You know there are some people you can just pick up where you left off. Yeah, it was good like that.
I bought his cd. You should too. It's quite good.
Song of the Day:
Georgia by Ray Charles (best to listen to while driving and watching the sun set)
When you're dressed in your favourite clothes.
They fit you just right.
You've actually taken time to do your hair for once.
You're make up is done just right. Not too crazy but not too natural either.
You are wearing your favourite shoes.
The ones that you've worn so much you feel like you are going barefoot.
Lets not lie, you think your looking pretty gooood.
And you think,
"Now this is the moment where I should run into my ex"
But it never happens that way does it.
You see them when you're driving home
after working 8 hours
sweaty and gross
looking like shit.
Yes, that's when you see them.
...who takes time to do their hair anyway these days.
I started watching The Power of Myth today. Campbell talks about the center belief that ties every myth together. And that is the idea of a hero or heroine. A hero goes through some sort of change or higher understand and then gives of themselves for a greater cause. He claims that every human being can be considered a hero because everyone has gone through a birth. A time where they are in one state, they go through a change (take a passage) and become something different, something stronger, something better. That's as far as I got. Although I was thinking about it later in the day and I realized that I'm a huge believer in the everyday hero. Man, I have met some amazing people suffering for the sake of so many others. Makes my problems seem small and trivial.
I talked to a friend tonight who spoke brutally honest words to me. I don't think he will ever know how right he was. You know there are some people you can just pick up where you left off. Yeah, it was good like that.
I bought his cd. You should too. It's quite good.
Song of the Day:
Georgia by Ray Charles (best to listen to while driving and watching the sun set)
Monday, July 14, 2008
Summertime
It seems that blogging is the new thing to do amongst us theatre majors at Trinity. Check it out. She's in the same show as I am come fall. Very brilliant girl. We spent the day at White Rock yesterday.
I don't think there is anything better than sitting on a deck overlooking the ocean, drinking beer and listening to the Chili Peppers. Sigh. It's just what I needed yesterday. I'm going to Seattle this week as well. I need to see familiar people. The people that have loved me unconditionally this entire year. Speaking of which, it's only about a month til people start coming back! I'm making it through...only another month. I can do it.
I started watching the Power of Myth last night with Joseph Campbell and soon realized that I will most likely have to take notes while i'm watching. It's so packed full with information. I'm excited to start.
Song of the Day
Hard to Concentrate by The Red Hot Chili Peppers
I don't think there is anything better than sitting on a deck overlooking the ocean, drinking beer and listening to the Chili Peppers. Sigh. It's just what I needed yesterday. I'm going to Seattle this week as well. I need to see familiar people. The people that have loved me unconditionally this entire year. Speaking of which, it's only about a month til people start coming back! I'm making it through...only another month. I can do it.
I started watching the Power of Myth last night with Joseph Campbell and soon realized that I will most likely have to take notes while i'm watching. It's so packed full with information. I'm excited to start.
Song of the Day
Hard to Concentrate by The Red Hot Chili Peppers
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Sigur Ros
Today was a sad day. A sad day indeed.
The Sigur Ros show at the Chan sold out in a matter of minutes, and unfortunetly, I did not get tickets.
I cried.
A lot.
Maybe said a few bad words. Threw some things.
If there is one thing I HAVE to do before I die, it is experience Sigur Ros...and at the Chan too. UGH. The acoustics in that place are unbelievable.
I have had a pit in my stomach the entire day I want to go so bad.
BAH i'm not happy. I'm so tempted to pay the 400 dollars to see them. To me it's almost worth it. And now i'm crying again.
Bad day all around.
Song of the Day:
O Praise Him by David Crowder Band
The Sigur Ros show at the Chan sold out in a matter of minutes, and unfortunetly, I did not get tickets.
I cried.
A lot.
Maybe said a few bad words. Threw some things.
If there is one thing I HAVE to do before I die, it is experience Sigur Ros...and at the Chan too. UGH. The acoustics in that place are unbelievable.
I have had a pit in my stomach the entire day I want to go so bad.
BAH i'm not happy. I'm so tempted to pay the 400 dollars to see them. To me it's almost worth it. And now i'm crying again.
Bad day all around.
Song of the Day:
O Praise Him by David Crowder Band
Friday, July 11, 2008
Scribble Scrabble
I really have nothing intelligent to say in this post. I don't even know why i'm posting actually.
I've been working a lot lately. And by a lot I mean a ridiculous amount. So obviously I get to know people I work with very well. It never fails to surprise me how young they are, and yet how not innocent they are. All childhood innocence, completely gone. These kids, and that's what they are, have done and tried more things than I care to ever do. And I surprise them. They think it's weird that I've never done drugs. Or had sex. It's new and foreign to them. Ha, i'm interrogated many times a week.
Being a part of these kids lives makes me realize how lucky I am. I look at the opportunities i've had and I realize most people my age have not done half the things I have. I ran into someone at Trinity the other day who has known me for a good nine or ten years of my life, a good friend of the family. He works at Trinity and we were talking about my summer and school and eventually life plans and he looks at me and says, "You know, you've lived a charmed life. Don't you realize that"? And until he said that, I really don't think I did. I have lived a life that some people only dream of. And I'm only nineteen. First thought that comes to mind is that I don't deserve any of the experiences that i've had. But then there's that Relient K song, with that line, "The beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair". I couldn't have said it better myself. It is not a matter of deserving. It's a matter of circumstance, which I can only be thankful for. And also a matter of God. I can look back through my writing and see where He's taken me. And guided me. And where i've trusted Him. I am so so so thankful that I will never have to deal with the things my work friends are dealing with now. And they are younger than me. My heart hurts for them.
Oh I remembered why I was going to post. Now I almost don't even want to give this secret away it's so precious to me. Sigh, but i'll tell you, because I would love for you to enjoy it as well. Word has it that VSO (Vancouver Symphony Orchestra) is playing this Sunday at 7pm at Deer Lake Park in Burnaby FOR FREE. The VSO and I have a long running history of performing (ask me about it sometime...) and so I am jumping at the opportunity to at least hear them again. Join me if you would like. It will be lovely i'm sure.
Song of the Day:
You Wreck Me by Tom Petty
I've been working a lot lately. And by a lot I mean a ridiculous amount. So obviously I get to know people I work with very well. It never fails to surprise me how young they are, and yet how not innocent they are. All childhood innocence, completely gone. These kids, and that's what they are, have done and tried more things than I care to ever do. And I surprise them. They think it's weird that I've never done drugs. Or had sex. It's new and foreign to them. Ha, i'm interrogated many times a week.
Being a part of these kids lives makes me realize how lucky I am. I look at the opportunities i've had and I realize most people my age have not done half the things I have. I ran into someone at Trinity the other day who has known me for a good nine or ten years of my life, a good friend of the family. He works at Trinity and we were talking about my summer and school and eventually life plans and he looks at me and says, "You know, you've lived a charmed life. Don't you realize that"? And until he said that, I really don't think I did. I have lived a life that some people only dream of. And I'm only nineteen. First thought that comes to mind is that I don't deserve any of the experiences that i've had. But then there's that Relient K song, with that line, "The beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair". I couldn't have said it better myself. It is not a matter of deserving. It's a matter of circumstance, which I can only be thankful for. And also a matter of God. I can look back through my writing and see where He's taken me. And guided me. And where i've trusted Him. I am so so so thankful that I will never have to deal with the things my work friends are dealing with now. And they are younger than me. My heart hurts for them.
Oh I remembered why I was going to post. Now I almost don't even want to give this secret away it's so precious to me. Sigh, but i'll tell you, because I would love for you to enjoy it as well. Word has it that VSO (Vancouver Symphony Orchestra) is playing this Sunday at 7pm at Deer Lake Park in Burnaby FOR FREE. The VSO and I have a long running history of performing (ask me about it sometime...) and so I am jumping at the opportunity to at least hear them again. Join me if you would like. It will be lovely i'm sure.
Song of the Day:
You Wreck Me by Tom Petty
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Movie Night
I saw this movie tonight. It's called Wanted if you're too lazy to click on the link.
There are two reasons I watch movies. Either for acting or crazy scripts that leave you going, "What the heck just happened". The latter usually involves lots of action and guns. Which I also happen to appreciate. This movie was one of those. Except surprisingly funny and witty. Now that I think about it, I didn't think about the acting once. That is a good sign. Some of the script is lame, but you know, you can't have everything in life now can you. All things aside, I think you should watch it. It's good.
Song of the Day:
Thinking About You by Radiohead
There are two reasons I watch movies. Either for acting or crazy scripts that leave you going, "What the heck just happened". The latter usually involves lots of action and guns. Which I also happen to appreciate. This movie was one of those. Except surprisingly funny and witty. Now that I think about it, I didn't think about the acting once. That is a good sign. Some of the script is lame, but you know, you can't have everything in life now can you. All things aside, I think you should watch it. It's good.
Song of the Day:
Thinking About You by Radiohead
Monday, July 7, 2008
Odds and Ends
I watched Inside the Actor's Studio for the first time today. For some reason I always saw it on as I was searching for something to watch but never checked it out. Duh. You would think the title at least would pop out at me. Apparently not. I had it recommended to me though so I decided to scope it out. For those of you who are like me and hate to waste your time when watching television, it is a show where a man, I forget his name, interviews famous actors. The interviewer has watched every movie and tv show the actor has ever done and researched a ton about them.
Today the interview was with Michael J. Fox. Now there is a man who has turned his suffering into joy (I have been on a theme of suffering this week, and no, not mine). Fox has Parkinson's Disease. I have watched two men in my family suffer from Parkinson's. One is already dead. It is a sad, sad disease that kills you very slowly and painfully. He talked about the opportunity this disease has given him. He told a story about several people standing around in a circle and each person wrote what they were suffering with and put it in a pile in the middle of the circle. When they were asked to choose which experience of suffering they would take from the middle, every single person took back their own. He was very inspiring. He also mentioned his book titled Lucky Man. Just a glimpse of his view on the disease that's robbing his body of control.
I am reading two of Henri Nouwen's books. Nouwen has an incredible story of suffering. He was a Catholic priest and a writer who died just recently of a heart attack. Only after he died did it come out that he was a homosexual. He had gone his entire life without telling people he was gay. On top of that, taking a vow of celibacy for priesthood. This man knows suffering. People read his forty something books in a whole new light with the knowledge of his understanding of pain and what it means to have a "thorn in his flesh". Anyway, look him up for a good read.
I went running today and was completey taken back by the beautiful view. And it came to me that His banner over me is love. I can look back and think, these last six months have been the worst. I have never felt so much pain. And yet, tonight all I could think about were good memories from this last year. They came flooding in. I couldn't stop them. There I was, standing in a field watching the sun slip behind the mountains and all I could do was laugh. I must have looked like an idiot. I didn't care. My God is good, ALL the time and I wouldn't trade my life or my suffering for the world.
Song of the Day:
See the Morning by Chris Tomlin
Today the interview was with Michael J. Fox. Now there is a man who has turned his suffering into joy (I have been on a theme of suffering this week, and no, not mine). Fox has Parkinson's Disease. I have watched two men in my family suffer from Parkinson's. One is already dead. It is a sad, sad disease that kills you very slowly and painfully. He talked about the opportunity this disease has given him. He told a story about several people standing around in a circle and each person wrote what they were suffering with and put it in a pile in the middle of the circle. When they were asked to choose which experience of suffering they would take from the middle, every single person took back their own. He was very inspiring. He also mentioned his book titled Lucky Man. Just a glimpse of his view on the disease that's robbing his body of control.
I am reading two of Henri Nouwen's books. Nouwen has an incredible story of suffering. He was a Catholic priest and a writer who died just recently of a heart attack. Only after he died did it come out that he was a homosexual. He had gone his entire life without telling people he was gay. On top of that, taking a vow of celibacy for priesthood. This man knows suffering. People read his forty something books in a whole new light with the knowledge of his understanding of pain and what it means to have a "thorn in his flesh". Anyway, look him up for a good read.
I went running today and was completey taken back by the beautiful view. And it came to me that His banner over me is love. I can look back and think, these last six months have been the worst. I have never felt so much pain. And yet, tonight all I could think about were good memories from this last year. They came flooding in. I couldn't stop them. There I was, standing in a field watching the sun slip behind the mountains and all I could do was laugh. I must have looked like an idiot. I didn't care. My God is good, ALL the time and I wouldn't trade my life or my suffering for the world.
Song of the Day:
See the Morning by Chris Tomlin
Friday, July 4, 2008
Pain
"Not hardship, nor hunger, no pain or depth of sorrow
Not weakness, nor failure, no broken dream or promise
Nothing can take me from Your great love
Forever this truth remains"
- Kathryn Scott
This is my song.
They say that pain makes the best art. Unfortunetly for humankind, I think this to be truth. A part of me is glad about that. Because some of the art I see takes my breath away. As does most of the pain I experience. It is also extremely sad. I often wonder and question why must we go through such crud to reach brilliance? Any thoughts?
I was given the entire interview with Joseph Campbell on "The Power of Myth". I will watch it and report.
Song of the Day:
Last Dance with Mary Jane by Tom Petty
Not weakness, nor failure, no broken dream or promise
Nothing can take me from Your great love
Forever this truth remains"
- Kathryn Scott
This is my song.
They say that pain makes the best art. Unfortunetly for humankind, I think this to be truth. A part of me is glad about that. Because some of the art I see takes my breath away. As does most of the pain I experience. It is also extremely sad. I often wonder and question why must we go through such crud to reach brilliance? Any thoughts?
I was given the entire interview with Joseph Campbell on "The Power of Myth". I will watch it and report.
Song of the Day:
Last Dance with Mary Jane by Tom Petty
II
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