Tuesday, May 13, 2008

From the Journal:

Let’s play remember that time. Remember that time when Karyn missed her show because everyone in the Fraser Valley decided to go to Granville Island on the same day and fill up all the available parking spots so Karyn could not park. Remember that time she wandered around Vancouver until the 8 o’clock show because she was not going to waste all that gas for nothing. Remember that time everything seemed to be going wrong until she went to get her ticket and found out it was way cheaper than she thought it would be. Cheaper than the matinee even. The things that excite you when you’re poor.

As much as I was pissed off about missing the show, I still love Granville Island a lot so having a good time wasn’t hard. But what bothered me was that for the first time in a long time I was scared of being alone. I was in Vancouver alone. And I was scared.

...Four art galleries and one very long walk around Emily Carr’s design exhibits later, I find myself sitting in a coffee shop in an alley in Granville Island wondering if life could get any better. By the time this day is done I will have gotten to do most of my favourite things. People watch, walk around Vancouver, shop without buying (makes me feel so good to know I have self control), see theatre, look at art, and write about theatre. Sigh. I am content.

...I don’t feel rejected, I feel loved. I can’t believe how much He cares about me. Time and time again I see His faithful unchanging love for me and I feel inadequate enough to fall into His arms and trust. Right now I feel like I have so much love to give, to everyone. I have been so blessed. If God wants me to be single, which I think He has made quite obvious, then that is what I will do and I am actually quite excited about it. I know He is always with me. Weird how all yesterday I had been praying for comfort and when I needed it the most, I was overwhelmed with it.

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