Tuesday, May 27, 2008

And suddenly there are no more questions...

...just white noise.

Four friends met tonight. There was food, laughter, openness, confessions, addictions, love, God, music, theatre, and honesty. The best night I have had in a long time. It brought me back to school and a community of people that genuinely care deeply about each other. These people are people I have no problem being honest and frank with. There is unconditioned love. We confessed, we cried, we laughed so hard it hurt. This is love my friends. Deep, unconditioned, broken love.

We talked about our show next year. I can’t explain the feeling I get when I think of it. When we start to read Genesis and Greek tragedies I get, well, I get it.

I tend to tell the story of my past quite a bit. This is healing for me. I saw a play this past year where the main character opened with a monologue that talked about each person’s story. And how each time we tell our story, we give a little bit of it away. I don’t believe that fully, but I do believe I am continuely being healed by sharing it. And i’m learning how to embrace my past and use it for God’s glory. Tonight again I was affirmed by what I had shared and I have added more people to my family.

Today I felt the answer to a worn out prayer. I felt peace. Such an amazing peace. For the first time in a long time I am able to stand on my own two feet and be content in my singleness and know that that is what God has planned for me right now. God is good. No, no, no not safe. Good.

I was blessed by this tonight:

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
who in his great mercy gave us a new birth to a living hope
through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,
to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading,
kept in heaven for you
who by the power of God are safeguarded through faith,
to a salvation that is ready to be revealed in the final time.
In this you rejoice, although now for a little while
you may have to suffer through various trials,
so that the genuineness of your faith,
more precious than gold that is perishable even though tested by fire,
may prove to be for praise, glory, and honor
at the revelation of Jesus Christ.
Although you have not seen him you love him;
even though you do not see him now yet you believe in him,
you rejoice with an indescribable and glorious joy,
as you attain the goal of faith, the salvation of your souls."

1 Pt 1:3-9

May you find friendship that is unguarded, broken, and good. so good.



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