Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Have I been Dreaming?

I have been having the weirdest, craziest dreams I could ever have imagined. I often wonder how much dreams are telling us about ourselves and what we are processing in our sleep. I think my dreams are healing my past relationships, of all sorts. I dream about the people who have fallen out of my life for one reason or another. I think this is good, it is healthy.

I recently had a mini meltdown and deactivated my facebook account, decided to go on a popular music fast, look for a spiritual mentor, and write every day.

It's hard. Go figure.

Starting new habits and unlearning old ones is a birth of sorts, a growing pain. It follows the Rule of St. Benedict's paradox: when you strip away down to the minimum of anything it seems sterile at first, but then creativity grows out of that longing.

Creativity and strength of character are growing out of my longings and it is beautiful. The new habits are starting to feel normal and I am reaping the benefits of these changes. I want to overcome my self. To take away my worthless material things, my careerism, my comfortable lifestyle. I want to be uncomfortable in this temporal world, I am searching in my loneliness for self-worth and joy that is divine.

Be aware of your dreams. Be aware of your self. Be aware of God.

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