It's that time

Auditions.

I dread them before, I love them during, I hate them after.

I am terrified of being under-prepared, over-prepared beforehand.

I love my ability to be myself in front of people I don't know, to be open with them and make good impressions. I love the adrenaline and competitiveness that I get during an audition.

I hate knowing the results. I hate feeling guilty if I get a role, no matter how hard I try to convince myself that I deserved it, I hate seeing the disappoint in people's faces, I hate being treated differently by friends.

All of this passes in time. I am impatient, the process is different for everyone.