When voices fade out
When lights are turned down
Know this whispers to you
When you want to cry out
When you want a runway
Taking you in another way
When you cannot suffer any longer
Know that I suffer too
When life has you jaded,
Tired and frustrated just know
This whispers to you
After a fall out
When your thoughts are all doubts
Remember what I promised you
When you are broken
And words that were spoken
Are regrets in you mind
When you fail to see beauty
Try on your knees
Or when you're content, safely hidden
Know this whispers to you
- Brendan Kwiatkowski
I've been learning a lot about patience. Something I haven't usually made a habit of putting into practise. I'm slowly learning that all other fruits of the Spirit stem from self-control. I am finding myself having a selfless love despite being hurt. That is not me. That is not in my nature at all. And it's hard. It doesn't feel good. It definitely doesn't make me feel warm and fuzzy. But it is God's desire. It is therefore my desire.
I'm also exploring God as a husband. It discusses the idea a little bit in Isaiah and I like it. I like this idea that the qualities I look for in a husband are also in Christ. At least should be. And the idea that marriage is this binding contract where two become one. I want to live such a life where Christ and I are one. That should be what we strive for yes?
My abandonment issues are such that I find a huge peace in knowing that I am already married to someone who will never leave me and always always loves me no matter what condition I'm in. Every person deserves to be loved in this way.
I'm going to Seattle for the next couple of days to visit some school friends. Hopefully it will bring some peace in my seemingly forever stormy life.
Song of the Day:
Do You Realize by The Flaming Lips
1 comment:
I love exploring the concept of God as our perfect lover. Donald Miller brings up this idea of us being Romeo, and Christ being Juliet. I recently watched the Baz Luhrmann version of the story, keeping that notion in mind, and it blew me away. I strongly urge you to do the same Karyn. Amazing.
And it's amazing to think that, maybe, the good that God brings out of every love story ever written by man is to reveal the depth of his love. So rather than the greatest tales of love being beautiful in and of themselves, they are each a metaphor for the way we are desired, and loved by God. And his love is REAL, whereas the perfect human love represented in stories is impossible, because at the end of the day, we're human, and apart from Christ,
we fall apart.
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