Junior Boy

Watch the sun come up

Go on and leave

Coffee is all you mean to me

anyway

And I have that.

Mornings alone smile my insides

And give me rest.

Peaceful rest.

Sway to the song

Remember the music

That brought me to you.

The Lord is my keeper

I shall want and want and want.

When first things are first

"When I have learnt to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now. In so far as I learn to love my earthly dearest at the expense of God and instead of God, I shall be moving towards the state in which I shall not love my earthly dearest at all. When first things are put first, second things are not suppressed but increased."

-C.S. Lewis

My parents had this quote on their wedding invitations. I think it is true.

Mmm

"After all everybody, that is, everybody who writes," said Gertrude Stein, "is interested in living inside themselves in order to tell what is inside themselves. That is why writers have to have two countries, the one where they belong and the one in which they live really. The second one is romantic; it is separate from themselves, it is not real but it is really there."

- G. A. Harrison, "Gertrude Stein's America"

You make me feel five...and it's the best feeling.

You make me feel five

Blonde sunshine hands in the air

Yellow flowers fanning love

Where's that dirt?

Anything you want, you got it.

Anything you need, you got it.

Anything at all, you got it.

- Karyn Guenther and Roy Orbison

Still alive

I'm falling in love with Bon Iver. He's my new music crush. That and Lenka. Some good artists if you would like to check out.

You may wonder where I have been for so long. You may not.

I've been working on a new show, which is completely opposite of the last one. I'm an asian god in The Good Woman of Setzuan by Bertolt Brecht. I am learning heaps simply by exploring. It's been a good experience so far. Dates will follow.

I've also been seeing some good theatre. Last night I went to see The Constant Wife at the Stanley Theatre on Granville. If you see any theatre this month, see that show. I was delighted and charmed, I could not stop smiling. I would even go again.

Holy Mo opens at Pacific Theatre this week, Feb. 6. Make sure you get out to see that show.

One Thing I Love:
Going to theatre alone
Song of the Day:
For Emma by Bon Iver

Perfect Fear

I was only on the fourth page or so before I got that choking feeling in my throat.
Twenty seconds later the sob came out. I hardly ever read such honest and vulnerable writing.
Grief has a way of doing that.
I'm reading a book for a new idea that is in my head. I shouldn't say new, it's been in there for awhile, but newish.
I want to be able to write like that. My heart out on the page. My craving is to be understood. My desire is to be noticed. But then I realize the amount of sacrifice that takes. There is a part of me that wants to hold and nurture it all inside. And yet there is a stronger force telling me this must come out, I need to come out. Need to.

So I will write it. There cannot be fear of failure. There cannot be fear. My love for art is becoming a perfect love that constantly casts out fear.

Not Today

I wanted to hold your hand and walk with you through foreign lands
Unsure of where this road might lead, never once thought to stop me
Weather does not determine whether or not I'll get lost in my thoughts
And tell time by the sun overhead, longing for things unsaid

Today there's still pain
I know I've got to move on but it's just not the same
And anything that I say won't make sense, not today, not today

And I'll walk through this forest alone
While the birds above sing of home
Moon, rise up fast and shed your light
Change this dark day into night
'If only' the words that keep the here from there
No longer hold their scare
Because 'if only' were to happen here
It still would not take my tears

Today there's still pain
I know I've got to move on but it's just not the same
And anything that I say won't make sense, not today
It's like pretending you're find
That you're okay but not today

I'm crying out for God, I'm crying for the things I love

Today, there's still pain
I know I've got to move on, but it's just not the same
And anything that I say won't make sense, not today
It's like pretending you're fine
That you're okay, but not today, not today

- Brendan Kwiatkowski